FOUR PHASES EVERY RELATIONSHIP MUST GO THROUGH BEFORE MARRIAGE
I. When both parties are Driven by Love and Passion
Passion and love are one of the forces that drives you in relationship. When you are in relationship between the first one or two months, depends on your personality, you will be emotionally driven by love and passion towards each other, and that's is normal because you are a human been and at this point flaws or imperfection of your fiancé, may not be visible because the relationship just started newly and both of you love each other desperately.
This type of love is always express in every relationship, and this is what lead to the second phase in relationship.
2. Getting to Know Your Partner
At this stage you are interested to know him or her better, you are interested knowing what he or she like or dislike, his or her way of life, personality and perspective.
Now, at this point it is advisable for both party to be open minded and be sincere towards each other, sincerity is of great importance when it comes to building a successful relationship. We live in a generation the worse of all kind since the history of Christianity were a believer will be double or triple dating and to her nothing is wrong, keep one behind the scene why loving the other.
At times it may happen that the person you love is not the person God chooses for you but you must understand God's choice is the best, and that does not guarantee you dating two persons at the same time as a believer it's wrong or not be sincere.
Let your partner know your way of life, so he or she will learn to relate with you better.
3. Discovering of Character and Flaws
At this third stage you will come to realized that the person you are in relationship with has weakness, deficiency and some behavioral pattern that seems to contradict your way living. This is where balance perspective with accurate understanding is needed.
Discovering of flaws or weakness does not mean that your partner is bad or is not God will for you. Flaws or character are simply path of our lives that require perfection which at times are derivative of culture around us or upbringing.
You have to understanding that no one is perfect we all have weaknesses or flaws in our lives. This stage require conflict resolution, because of different perspectives.
Many relationship fade away at this stage simply because of imbalance perspective and lack understanding. At this stage passion and love may likely grow cold for some persons.
But it require maturity and understanding with a balance perspective to keep the relationship moving. You must understand that the reason why the flaws were revealed, is so that it can be corrected, both individuals has to adjust in character, perspective and way of life in order to have a suitable courtship.
A times I discover that people can be listening or reading but they are not hearing. May the Lord give you understanding in Jesus name.
However, you have to understand that before God gave you go ahead, he already knew that your fiancé has some flaws alright. The reason for the imperfection is so that your perfection can cover him or her. Be prudent at this stage and don’t quit any relationship simply because your partner has some flaws because its a function of how he or she was brought up.
So you don't go into relationship and expect the person to be so accurate, you know even you, you are not accurate.
And also understand that the effect of your upbringing if negative will take time to leave you. I.e now, it will take time for you to renew your mind because its does not happen immediately.
However, you are only advisable to quit any relationship if your fiancé disagree or refuse to adapt or if both are not compatible, because compatibility is what we all need to have a hit free relationship, you can’t afford to marry someone whose destination in life is totally different from yours.
So, sir / ma your wife, husband or fiancée is not bad, he or she is a reflection of wrong perspective that make him or her act the way he or she does.
4. Genuine Love
This is the last phase of any relationship before marriage.
At this stage true love is express despites the weakness or imperfection.
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Genuine love can be express to your fience even when you know his are her flaws. It is at this stage sincere love is express.
Now, the love here is not met to cover up the flaws but to exercise patience before he or she changes. That's the patient dimension of love.
Ability to know someone's imperfections and yet love the person.
NB: Love the person not to remain the way he or she is but for the period of time before he or she changes. So don't conclude in your heart that people should love you the way you are, nobody love nonsense character. It's good you change your perspective.
Hope you were blessed?
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